Inside the Circle with Ellie Rayer: Olympic Hockey, Resilience and Finding Your Way Back

From judo mats and athletics tracks to Olympic hockey, Ellie Rayer’s sporting journey has never followed one straight path.

Since making her England debut in 2017 and Great Britain debut a year later, Ellie has experienced Olympic bronze in Tokyo, Commonwealth Games gold in Birmingham, European medals and some of the biggest highs and hardest setbacks elite sport can offer.

She has also become known as one of the quickest players in the game — something she partly credits to a childhood spent competing across multiple sports.

In this edition of Inside the Circle, Ellie joins Total-Hockey to talk about her unusual sporting background, breaking through the England pathway, learning from some of GB’s greatest players, Tokyo 2020, missing out on Paris, rebuilding confidence in Australia’s Hockey One League, life at East Grinstead, adidas equipment, protective gear and why difficult moments only become truly damaging if you fail to learn from them.

Watch the full Inside the Circle interview with Ellie Rayer below, or keep reading for the biggest stories, insights and lessons from her journey through England, Great Britain and elite hockey.

Starting With Judo and Rugby

Hockey wasn’t Ellie’s first sporting love.

She was simply a sports-mad child.

Rugby became one of her earliest team sports, while judo gave her a completely different type of challenge.

And she still sees elements of both in the player she is today.

Rugby helped develop physical confidence and team awareness.

Judo taught movement, balance and how to use the body.

Later, athletics would add something else.

Speed.

Why Playing Different Sports Helped

Ellie strongly believes her multisport background shaped her hockey.

For years, she always had both an individual and team sport in her life.

That balance mattered.

Athletics taught her to look internally.

If the performance wasn’t good enough, there wasn’t a teammate to blame.

You had your time.

Your result.

Your personal best.

Team sport was different.

A difficult day could be shared.

Teammates could support you.

Success belonged to the group.

For Ellie, hockey eventually gave her the balance she wanted.

The Athletics Background Behind Her Speed

Ellie’s speed didn’t appear by accident.

She was a serious athlete growing up and even became an under-15 indoor national pentathlon champion.

For a time, the pathway towards multi-event athletics looked like a genuine possibility.

Then hockey began moving quickly too.

England trials arrived.

She was selected.

And suddenly wearing an England kit created a new dream.

When Hockey Became the Priority

Ellie didn’t immediately abandon athletics.

She continued balancing the two sports through much of her teenage years.

But hockey gradually took over.

The England pathway created opportunities she felt she had to pursue.

Athletics moved into the background, although her multi-event experience meant she could still turn up and compete across hurdles, sprints, jumps and throws.

Eventually, when she reached Loughborough University, athletics stopped.

But its impact never did.

Feeling Like the Last Name on the Team Sheet

Ellie’s path through England age-group hockey wasn’t built on always being the obvious standout.

She remembers sitting in an under-16 meeting where the group was told how few players would eventually progress through each stage.

At the time, Ellie felt like she might have been the 35th name in a squad of 35.

The idea that she might eventually become a senior international seemed almost unrealistic.

Then she kept progressing.

Under-16s.

Under-18s.

Under-21s.

And eventually the senior programme.

Why Development Is Never Predictable

One of the lessons Ellie takes from that experience is that junior rankings don’t necessarily predict senior careers.

Some young players who appear destined for the top may not make it.

Others can suddenly accelerate later.

Every pathway looks different.

Ellie wasn’t always the strongest or most obvious player.

She simply kept learning.

And every time the next stage arrived, she found herself still in the system.

Moving Up With Older Players

Because Ellie progressed gradually through the age groups, she didn’t always notice huge jumps in level.

Instead, she was constantly learning alongside players who were slightly older, stronger or more experienced.

That became normal.

Rather than being intimidated by the step up, she tried to understand what those players were doing differently.

That mindset would become even more important when she reached the senior squad.

The Injury Before Her Senior Trial

Ellie’s first senior opportunity came with an unfortunate complication.

Shortly before her trial, she badly injured her ankle after landing on a hockey ball while jumping over a pitch barrier.

Not exactly the ideal preparation.

She tried to continue initially.

Then discovered the extent of the injury.

By the time the senior assessment came around, she was only a few months into recovery.

Rehabbing While Trying to Earn a Contract

That made Ellie’s assessment period unusual.

Rather than simply trying to impress during every session, she was balancing evaluation with rehabilitation.

The programme needed her ready for junior international commitments too.

So the focus became:

Rehab the ankle.

Train when possible.

Keep being assessed.

Then wait.

Eventually, the answer arrived while returning from the Junior World Cup in Chile.

Ellie had earned a senior contract.

The Moment Full-Time Hockey Became Real

That flight home was a memorable one.

Ellie was delighted.

But selection also highlighted one of the hardest realities of elite sport.

Not everyone receives the same news.

Some teammates were selected.

Some were rejected.

Others remained uncertain.

A moment of enormous personal joy can exist alongside somebody else’s disappointment.

That complexity would appear again throughout Ellie’s career.

Realising Training Alone Wasn’t Enough

After joining the senior programme, Ellie initially loved simply being a full-time hockey player.

Train every day.

Get better.

Live the dream.

Then came a major selection.

She wasn’t picked.

And it hit harder than expected.

Suddenly she realised that simply being inside the programme wasn’t enough.

She wanted to compete.

The Tournament That Changed Everything

Ellie responded by returning to under-21 hockey, training hard and pushing for another opportunity.

That opportunity came at the European Championships.

And the tournament remains one of her favourite experiences in an England shirt.

England faced the Netherlands in front of around 10,000 Dutch supporters.

The atmosphere was enormous.

The crowd was orange.

And even though England lost the semi-final narrowly, Ellie remembers thinking:

This is exactly what I want to do.

Winning Her First Senior Medal

England went on to win bronze.

For Ellie, it was her first major senior tournament and first medal.

More importantly, it showed what international hockey could feel like at its best.

Huge crowds.

Major matches.

Pressure.

Emotion.

That tournament became confirmation that all the training and difficult selection moments were worth chasing.

Gold Coast Commonwealth Games

Then came another major experience.

The 2018 Commonwealth Games in Australia.

For Ellie, it was her first trip to Australia and another opportunity to experience a multi-sport event.

The Gold Coast delivered everything she could have wanted.

Crowds.

Volunteers.

Energy.

Sport everywhere.

And another medal.

Being the Young Player in a Great Team

At that stage of her career, Ellie was still one of the younger players inside an England squad filled with household names.

That actually helped.

External attention tended to fall on established stars rather than the new player.

Ellie could focus on learning and enjoying the experience.

The pressure she felt mostly came from herself.

That gave her space to absorb what elite international hockey looked like.

From Watching GB Heroes to Becoming Their Teammate

A few years earlier, Ellie had watched many of those same players from the stands.

She followed tournaments.

Travelled to games.

Looked up to the players who had represented England and Great Britain at the biggest events.

Then suddenly they started appearing in her WhatsApp groups.

Turning up at Bisham Abbey.

Learning her name.

Becoming teammates.

What Great Players Taught Ellie

One thing surprised Ellie.

Those established players didn’t protect their knowledge.

They shared it.

They wanted the younger players to improve.

They understood that stronger individuals created a stronger team.

Ellie was raw.

She had things to learn.

And the senior players helped teach her.

Years later, some of those heroes are now friends.

The Cycle Continues

Now Ellie sees the same process happening again.

Younger players enter the squad and tell her they once had a photo with her.

Or that she signed their stick when they were younger.

Some players she once spoke to at junior camps are now teammates.

That’s one of hockey’s most rewarding full-circle moments.

The player watching from the sidelines can become the player standing next to you in the national team surprisingly quickly.

What Hockey Stick Does Ellie Rayer Use?

Ellie has been sponsored by adidas and Specialist Sports since around her first year of England U18 hockey.

That means the relationship has followed almost her entire senior journey.

Her current stick sits slightly below the very highest-carbon option.

And that is deliberate.

Why Ellie Doesn’t Use Maximum Carbon

Ellie jokes that some of the raw elements of her game still appear occasionally.

So rather than choosing the stiffest, most powerful stick available, she prefers something slightly more forgiving.

Control comes first.

Trap the ball.

Then worry about smashing it.

That’s a useful equipment lesson.

More carbon isn’t automatically better.

If a slightly softer stick gives you more touch and confidence, that may be the better choice.

Ellie’s Stick Setup

Unlike earlier in her career, Ellie has become fairly particular about weight and balance.

She likes her stick:

• as light as possible

• ideally under roughly 515 grams

• with a balance point around 39.5

The description she uses is perfect:

She wants it to feel like a wand.

Quick.

Light.

Easy to manipulate.

Something she can move naturally with the ball.

Why Stick Feel Matters More Than Numbers

The specifications help.

But ultimately the important part is how the stick feels in your hands.

If it feels sluggish, it probably isn’t right.

If it feels too head-heavy, you may struggle to move it quickly.

Ellie wants something she can almost dance with.

And that’s arguably a better way for many players to think about equipment than obsessing over numbers alone.

Her Favourite Grip

Ellie traditionally used the stock grip before discovering one of adidas’ towel-style options.

She liked it enough to build up a small stash when it looked like the grip might disappear.

That’s another familiar elite-player habit.

Once you find something that feels right, the last thing you want is for it to vanish.

Why Indoor Hockey Helps Ellie Outdoors

Ellie also loves indoor hockey.

Her equipment choice changes there.

She prefers a lightweight wooden stick.

Why wood?

Softer feel.

More flex.

A cushioned touch.

But the bigger benefit is what indoor hockey does to her game.

Indoor Hockey Forces Different Skills

Indoor hockey demands fast hands.

Tight control.

Quick decision-making.

Different receiving positions.

For Ellie, it forces her to work on skills that don’t always come as naturally.

Then, when she returns outdoors, she feels sharper.

That’s why she tries to play indoor whenever the schedule allows.

What Shoes Does Ellie Rayer Wear?

Ellie currently wears adidas Fabela hockey shoes.

And she’s become surprisingly particular about the colour options too.

At one stage she imagined assigning different colours to training, club hockey and matches.

That system didn’t last long.

Probably for the best.

Avoiding Equipment Superstition

Ellie’s next challenge is avoiding superstition.

Play well in one pair?

That doesn’t mean the shoes caused it.

She doesn’t want to reach a situation where one successful performance leaves her convinced she has to wear the same pair every match.

It sounds silly.

But athletes are very good at developing routines like that.

Why Protective Equipment Matters

Protective equipment is something Ellie takes seriously.

Part of that comes from her sports technology degree.

Research into injuries and protective design made her more aware of just how much the right equipment can reduce risk.

But the logic is even simpler.

If wearing something can reduce the chance of missing hockey, why wouldn’t you wear it?

Keeping Herself on the Pitch

Injuries will always exist in sport.

You can wear every protective product available and still get hurt.

But if equipment can reduce the likelihood, Ellie sees it as a straightforward decision.

Gum shield.

Protective footwear.

Whatever helps keep her available.

The goal is to stay on the pitch as much as possible.

Why Mouthguards Matter

Ellie has worked with OPRO and is particularly passionate about mouthguard protection.

For her, it’s a no-brainer.

Getting injured because of something unavoidable is one thing.

Getting injured because you decided not to wear available protection would be much harder to accept.

That mindset also influences how she speaks to younger players about safety.

Protective Gear Isn’t a Badge of Honour

When Ellie visits schools, children often ask about injuries.

Sometimes there’s a tendency to treat injuries like proof of toughness.

Ellie doesn’t see it that way.

Hockey has risks.

That’s simply part of the sport.

But those risks don’t need to be exaggerated.

Players should protect themselves where possible.

The Rise of Foot Protection

Ellie was also one of the earlier players regularly using protective guards over her hockey shoes.

The idea developed through work between UK Sport and the GB hockey environment after repeated foot injuries among elite players.

At first, Ellie wore them almost religiously.

She had a habit of getting hit on the feet.

Protection made sense.

Training vs Match Protection

Her approach has evolved slightly.

She sometimes prefers feeling lighter during matches.

But in training, where players spend far more hours exposed to repeated strikes and penalty corners, the protection often comes back on.

And if she takes a hit and her foot is already sore?

The guard returns immediately.

Why Training Can Be the Bigger Injury Risk

An elite player might spend around 15 hours training during a week.

Then play one match.

That means a huge percentage of the actual ball impacts and repeated movements happen during training.

For Ellie, the objective of training is ultimately to be ready for the match.

Getting injured in practice and missing the competition is exactly what she wants to avoid.

Tokyo 2020: Becoming an Olympian

Going to an Olympic Games had been a childhood dream long before hockey became Ellie’s main sport.

As a young sports fan, she watched Kelly Holmes and simply thought:

I want to go to an Olympics.

At that point, she didn’t particularly care which sport took her there.

Eventually hockey did.

Winning Olympic Bronze

Tokyo ended with Great Britain winning bronze.

And the achievement was particularly special because the team hadn’t necessarily been widely tipped for a medal beforehand.

For Ellie, it was surreal.

First Olympics.

Olympic medal.

And an Olympic Games unlike almost any other because of COVID restrictions.

Playing an Olympics With a Broken Nose

As if Tokyo wasn’t unusual enough, Ellie also broke her nose during the tournament.

She continued playing.

That added another layer to an already surreal experience.

COVID protocols.

Empty stadiums.

Extreme pressure.

Olympic hockey.

Broken nose.

Bronze medal.

Not exactly the standard tournament week.

Did Empty Stands Reduce the Pressure?

In a strange way, perhaps slightly.

Ellie would have loved family and friends to be there.

But their absence removed one emotional layer.

When you see your family in the crowd, you know how much they want the moment for you.

They’re nervous.

They’re invested.

And you want to perform for them.

In Tokyo, that reminder wasn’t physically in front of her.

A Strangely Calm Olympic Medal Match

The bronze-medal match remained enormous.

But without thousands of screaming supporters, communication was easier.

Everything felt calmer.

A few volunteers and team personnel were in the stadium.

Nothing like a traditional Olympic atmosphere.

Ellie doesn’t know exactly what an Olympic bronze-medal match is supposed to feel like.

Tokyo was her first.

So that became her version of it.

Birmingham 2022: Finally Winning Gold

If Tokyo lacked the friends-and-family experience, Birmingham delivered it in full.

England arrived at the Commonwealth Games after a World Cup where they felt they had taken too long to find their best form.

This time, Ellie remembers a sense of certainty.

They were going to win.

And they did.

What Commonwealth Gold Meant

For Ellie, the gold itself was extraordinary.

But the immediate aftermath mattered just as much.

She walked towards the friends-and-family section.

Saw the people who had supported the journey.

And barely had words.

She just smiled.

After Tokyo, where those people couldn’t be there, winning a major medal at home made the moment even more special.

Birmingham Surprised Her

Ellie admits she initially wasn't convinced Birmingham would match the experience of the Gold Coast.

Australia had set the bar high.

Then Birmingham completely changed her mind.

The crowds were excellent.

The weather played along.

The atmosphere was brilliant.

And the home connection made the whole event unforgettable.

The Heartbreak of Missing Paris

Elite sport doesn’t always follow the story you want.

Shortly before Olympic selection, Ellie celebrated her 50th Great Britain cap.

A milestone.

A reminder of how much she had achieved.

Then, only days later, she learned she wouldn’t be going to Paris.

From Celebration to Devastation

Ellie is open about how hard that moment was.

Her career hadn’t been completely smooth.

There had been injuries.

There had been non-selections.

But she had never previously missed the major tournament that mattered most.

Paris was different.

It became the biggest setback of her international career.

Perspective Doesn’t Remove Pain

Ellie naturally looks for perspective.

She knows that, in the context of everything happening in the world, not being selected for a hockey tournament is an incredibly fortunate problem to have.

But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

Both things can be true.

Perspective can help you understand the situation.

It doesn’t magically remove the emotion.

Why Using Pain as Fuel Can Be Exhausting

One piece of advice athletes often hear after disappointment is:

Use it as fuel.

Ellie did.

But she also discovered the downside.

Trying to access anger and hurt every single day is exhausting.

Eventually, she realised she couldn’t build the next stage of her career entirely on bitterness.

Accepting What You Can’t Change

The more sustainable approach was acceptance.

Paris happened.

She couldn't change the decision.

She could learn from it.

She could use it as motivation occasionally.

But she couldn’t live inside that emotion every day.

Otherwise, the sport she loved would eventually become something she resented.

Finding Freedom at East Grinstead

Club hockey became particularly important during that period.

Ellie has spent years with East Grinstead, and the club feels like home.

It provides something different from the centralised international environment.

Different voices.

Different teammates.

A little more freedom.

And a group of people she genuinely enjoys playing with.

Why Club Hockey Matters

East Grinstead isn’t simply somewhere Ellie plays on weekends.

It’s a community.

Juniors.

Families.

Supporters.

Players who have been around the club for years.

That connection is one of Ellie’s favourite things about hockey.

Other sports may have bigger crowds or larger commercial profiles.

But hockey clubs often have a genuine family structure around them.

Hockey’s Community Is Its Strength

Ellie sees that connection as one of hockey’s unique selling points.

People play.

Their parents play.

Their children play.

Their friends come to watch.

Generations remain involved.

As the sport tries to grow, she believes it should protect that community rather than lose it.

Growth doesn’t have to mean becoming disconnected.

Going to Australia After Missing Paris

Following the Paris disappointment, Ellie accepted an opportunity to play in Australia’s Hockey One League.

The timing was perfect.

She needed something different.

A different country.

Different teammates.

Different style.

Different conversations.

And, importantly, somewhere she could rebuild confidence.

Feeling Wanted Again

The invitation itself mattered.

After missing Olympic selection, Ellie didn’t necessarily feel particularly valued as a player.

Then an overseas team actively wanted her.

They believed she could improve their squad.

That immediately changed the emotional context.

Instead of focusing on what she had lost, she had an opportunity somebody was excited to give her.

Why Australian Hockey Suited Her

Ellie loves the Australian style.

Fast.

Direct.

Go.

That suits her speed and instincts.

It also differs from some of the more structured hockey she had been playing in Britain.

The freedom helped.

She could run.

Attack.

Express herself.

And rediscover what she enjoyed about the sport.

The Value of Playing Abroad

The benefits went beyond confidence.

New coaches see things differently.

New teammates communicate differently.

Different leagues value different skills.

Ellie returned believing the experience had genuinely made her a better player.

Her advice is simple:

If the opportunity comes, take it.

Why Canberra Was Better Than Expected

Apparently Canberra has a reputation for being slightly boring.

Ellie disagrees.

She loved the people.

Loved the environment.

Loved the way the team looked after her.

It might not provide the stereotypical white-sand Australian experience.

But that didn’t matter.

The hockey and the people made the trip.

Switching Off Outdoors

Away from hockey, Ellie is happiest outside.

Surfing.

Paddle boarding.

Mountain biking.

The beach.

Nature gives her a completely different focus.

When a wave is knocking you off a surfboard, you don’t have much time to think about selection or tournaments.

You’re simply present.

Learning How to Actually Rest

There is one catch.

Elite athletes need recovery.

And surfing or mountain biking doesn’t exactly count as sitting still.

Ellie has had to learn that a proper rest day occasionally requires being genuinely restful.

Not always easy for somebody who has spent her whole life moving.

The Blue Peter Badge

And then there’s arguably the greatest achievement of them all.

The Blue Peter sports badge.

Ellie earned it after appearing on the programme following the Commonwealth Games.

And yes, it has pride of place.

The medals live in a cabinet.

The Blue Peter badge sits alongside them.

As it should.

Great British Menu and the Unexpected Doors Sport Opens

Ellie has also appeared on Great British Menu.

Not because it formed part of some carefully planned media career.

The opportunity simply appeared.

That’s something she appreciates about elite sport.

You train to play hockey.

Then suddenly you find yourself doing something completely unrelated that you never expected to experience.

Sport opens unusual doors.

Embroidery and the England Team Jacket

One of Ellie’s less predictable hobbies is embroidery.

It started because she needed something she could do while actually sitting down.

An important consideration for someone who isn’t particularly good at resting.

Her first major project became a year-long embroidery wheel documenting 2024.

Turning a Difficult Year Into Something Creative

The project took on even more meaning after Paris selection.

Initially, Ellie had imagined the wheel documenting a special Olympic year.

Then the story changed.

Australia entered the picture.

Other experiences filled the space.

Eventually, the finished piece became a record of the year she actually had rather than the one she expected.

There’s something quite fitting about that.

The England Team Jacket

That embroidery hobby also led to a team tradition.

England created a jacket designed to celebrate squad values.

Ellie embroidered a large lion onto the back.

Each week, the current holder chooses the next player who has best represented the team’s values.

Then that player adds something to the jacket.

Celebrating Positives Even After Defeat

The jacket matters most after difficult moments.

When a tournament ends badly, the instinct isn’t always to hand out an award.

But the ritual forces the team to recognise something positive.

Someone still contributed.

Someone lived the values.

Someone deserves recognition.

Win or lose, the team remains consistent about who it wants to be.

Creating a Stronger England Identity

The jacket also helps separate the England environment from GB.

That can be difficult.

Same training base.

Many of the same players.

Same coaches.

Then the Scottish and Welsh athletes leave and suddenly the squad needs to feel distinctly English.

Small traditions can help build that identity.

The Problem With the Aerial Rule

Like almost every elite player asked about recent hockey rules, Ellie mentions aerials.

She loves the skill.

She doesn’t love the uncertainty.

Different interpretations.

Different umpires.

Different ideas about who has the right to receive.

Sometimes an aerial goes up and even experienced players aren’t sure which direction the decision will go.

Give Players Time to Put Protection On

Ellie has another rule frustration too.

Penalty-corner protective equipment.

Players have limited time to prepare.

If somebody isn’t ready quickly enough, the defensive team can be penalised.

Ellie believes that creates the wrong incentive.

Players can end up rushing.

Skipping knee protection.

Running out less protected than they should be.

Safety Should Come Before Speed

For Ellie, the logic is obvious.

The equipment exists to prevent injuries.

Officials can usually tell the difference between deliberate time-wasting and somebody genuinely trying to get protection on.

The sport should encourage players to wear the equipment.

Not pressure them into leaving it off.

One Hockey One Rule She Would Keep

If Ellie could bring one rule from another competition into mainstream hockey, she would borrow from Hockey One.

After an open-play goal, the scorer gets an immediate shootout opportunity.

Score that too and the goal is effectively worth two.

The idea creates extra excitement around open-play goals and adds more shootouts to the match.

Would Two-Point Goals Make Hockey More Exciting?

Ellie thinks so.

Shootouts are dramatic.

Fans understand them.

They create one-on-one moments.

And by attaching them to open-play goals, teams have even more incentive to attack rather than rely heavily on penalty corners.

It wouldn’t be traditional.

But it would certainly create entertainment.

What Can Hockey Players Learn From Ellie Rayer?

Ellie’s career offers plenty of lessons.

First, play different sports while you’re young.

Judo, rugby and athletics all added something that eventually helped her become an international hockey player.

Second, don’t assume junior rankings define where you’ll finish.

Ellie once felt like the last name on the squad list.

She became an Olympian.

Third, equipment should help you play your game.

The highest-carbon stick isn’t automatically the right one.

Control, touch, weight and balance matter more than simply choosing the most extreme specification.

Fourth, protect yourself.

If equipment can reduce the risk of an avoidable injury, Ellie sees very little reason not to use it.

And perhaps the biggest lesson is how to respond when sport hurts.

Missing Paris was devastating.

Trying to use that pain as fuel every day became exhausting.

Eventually, Ellie had to accept what had happened, find joy elsewhere and rebuild her confidence.

Australia helped.

East Grinstead helped.

Her teammates helped.

And the sport became enjoyable again.

International careers are rarely one uninterrupted upward line.

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t reaching the top.

It’s finding your way back after something knocks you down.

Watch the full Inside the Circle interview with Ellie Rayer to hear more about England and GB hockey, Tokyo, Birmingham, Hockey One, East Grinstead, adidas equipment, protective gear and her journey through the highs and lows of elite sport.